Heroes

Today my seniors were instructed to write a journal on their hero...this was one journal entry...

It says, "My hero is Miss Joe. She brightens my day when I come in; honestly I look forward to coming to school now. I think I need to stop playing like I do with her because I don't want her thinking I am weird. I make comments in class cuz I want her to remember me by something. Sept. 20 she had on a white shirt with a red belt and black pants, and she was looking GOOD! lol No sexual harrassment but Miss Joe so right!!"

TMI

Quote of the day: I overheard some students talking and I kind of wish I didn't...

1) Man, I'm sexually frustrated.

Really, kid? Are you really? Hmmmmm....how do you even know what that means? Ugh! lol

Contractions vs Contractions

My tenth graders were working on an expository writing essay today, and one girl stated that she always forgets that she's not supposed to use contractions in her writing and that she always uses them...well, another girl chimes in and asks, "Aren't there two types of contractions?". To that I answer, "Well, I guess so...you have the negative ones that use the word 'not' and then the other ones that use words like 'have' and 'will'." She tuned up her nose and said, "No, I mean like the contractions when you're having a baby"...**blank stare from EVERYONE in class and then we all laugh at her**

disclaimer: you may have had to be there and you may have to know the student to find it funny...

Rap

So, I'm sitting at my desk during my free period with my door open (unbeknownst to the students wandering in the halls) and I hear some beat-boxing and a rap accompanying it. The rap wen t something like this: "Miss Joe...**beat**...she so fine...**beat**Miss J-O-E...**beat**" I chuckle to myself and continue with my work...the boys don't know I heard them...lol.

Sandy Beaches

Me: Bryan* where's Sasha*? I can't believe she's not here with you!

Kendle: Miss Joe, we came to look at females tonight...we came to see some girls.

Me: Well, I know Bryan isn't. He already has one.

Bryan: Miss Joe, I ain't blind...the game ain't ova.

Me: It is for you!

Kendle: Well, it's like this, Miss Joe...it's like taking sand to the beach...

Me: ...but he already has sand!

Kendle: Who you here with, Miss Joe?

Me: Myself.

Kendle: Alright, I see ya, Miss Joe...didn't bring sand to the beach!

Me: Well, this is NOT my beach.

Kendle: IT COULD BE!

Me: NO SIR, IT CANNOT.

Single Lady

Student: We want to interview you to do a story on struggling teachers.

Me: I'm a struggling teacher?

Student: Like struggling like how much teachers make and can barely live...

Me: Oh...I'm not struggling, I'm single with no kids...I don't struggle. I live very comfortably.

Student #2: Miss Joe, you single? Oh, well, we can change THAT!!!

Me: **walks away shaking head**

Um, No Sir

Student: Miss Joe, you 25, huh?

Me: [reluctantly] Um, yes.

Students: Ah, Miss Joe, you young.

Kid: Dang, for real, Miss Joe only 25? Man, she can date me.

Um, no, sir, I cannot.

Teenage Logic

One of my students shared this "logic" with me...share your thoughts.

The conversation began with him telling me that he thought he was the father to his best friend's baby (this would make baby #3 for him), but he wasn't so he was relieved...

He then told me this...Disclaimer: please be warned, the following is highly illogical and a bit sad. You will probably shake your head in sadness and shock. You have been warned.

"I wanna have 14 kids, Miss Joe. I wanna be like my uncle; he got 12, but I wanna have more than that. You know why I wanna have 14? Having 14 kids gives me a bigger chance of me havin' successful kids."

I then try to explain that the number of children you have has nothing to do with the level of their success, and that the more children one has the less time the children get individually, which could, in turn, make them less successful. I tried to explain my family to him, but he's dead-set on having the 14. I shook my head in disbelief and just pleaded that he not have any more while in high school.

I also took this time to talk to him about protection; I told him that not only is he putting himself at risk of having a super responsibility for the next 18-20 years, but also at risk for contracting something that might last him a life time. I said there isn't that much "in the moment" in the world...he agreed. I told him the 10-15 minutes is not worth it the lifetime of regrets...he scoffed at the time period I gave him and assured me that he "lasted" longer than that. Ha. Yeah, right, kid.